Don’t judge a book by its cover, or a person by their appearance.

The looks my husband was subjected to when he dyed his hair bright orange in support of our children’s soccer team were nothing compared to the looks we got when people discovered we also allowed our children to dye their hair orange. I had the bottom half of my hair bright pink for a while, too. That was last year. This year, my children, ages 12 and 13, wanted their hair blue and gold in honor of their schools’ colors. While the color didn’t come out quite like we had hoped, it’s still pretty fantastic, and my daughter is especially happy with how her hair looks.

However, those judgmental looks from people who don’t even know us can be hard to bear.

Sometimes I want to explain to strangers our reasoning behind allowing our young children to color their hair, but mostly I want to tell them to stop being so prudish and to mind their own business. It’s frustrating as a parent, who believes in encouraging their children to explore their creativity and freedoms, to watch those same spirited children duck their heads in shame.

In case you’re wondering why any sane parent would allow their child to color their hair with unnatural colors, or in case you are seeking to explain your reasons to family/friends/teachers/etc. for letting them, here is why I allow and even encourage my kids to dye their hair any color they want:

• It promotes creative expression in a positive way. I would much rather my child dye their hair any color in the rainbow than say, spray paint public buildings.
• It’s just hair. It will grow back or get cut off, or both. It’s not permanent like a tattoo would be.
• It gives them a sense of self. If my children want to dye their hair purple and paint their rooms black, I am going to let them. They are in a safe environment to explore their growing personalities.
• It shows support for something they are proud of, like their soccer team or school.
• Dying their hair is less destructive than some other forms of rebellion or attention-seeking behaviors. My children don’t seem to have a penchant for rebellion or negative behaviors, and it makes me wonder if allowing them to dye their hair has helped redirect some of those urges.
• It’s liberating. I believe that by allowing my children to color their hair, I am also teaching them that some freedoms shouldn’t be taken for granted and that they are free to do what they wish to their own bodies as long as it does not cause harm.

You might not agree with me on one or all of my reasons, and that’s okay. I’m not looking to convince you, change your mind, or validate your opinion. I am only hoping that the next time you see a child with bright green hair, you consider that they aren’t in a gang or neglected or a trouble-maker, but just a kid who likes green hair. And, if you’re wondering, we also allow our children to wear anything they want, provided that their bodies are appropriately covered, for mostly the same reasons. My son wears shorts almost all year, even when it snows, while my daughter wears nothing but leggings and t-shirts. Sometimes they look a little rough around the edges, but that has no effect on their brilliant minds and sweet dispositions.