As a mom of four children, I have enjoyed many trips to the library. Our family loves the various programs available to the community. And I always encouraged my kids to read.
During one visit to the library, I was waiting for my children to pick out the books they wanted when another mom approached me.
“Don’t you help your kids pick out books?” she asked.
“Not usually. They know what they like,” I responded.
“But what if they choose something inappropriate or above their reading level?”
“Then they will either ask for help with the hard words or they won’t read it.”
She made it obvious that my answer displeased her, and left once she wrangled her children.
I thought about her reaction and mentioned it to my grandmother the next time I saw her. I figured if anyone could give me good advice about children choosing proper reading material, it would be her. She loved books and was constantly giving me things to read. Granted, they were mostly books on government or authored by political leaders, but she had a passion for the written word.
“Kids won’t read anything they think is too big for them,” my grandma said.
We talked about it for a few more minutes before the conversation shifted to other things.
On occasion, I would pick up and read a book that one of my children was reading. When my oldest daughter was obsessed with the Twilight series, I read them all. When my son fell in love with the Guardians of Ga’hoole books, I skimmed through a few. I felt confident allowing my kids to choose their own reading adventures.
Then it happened.
My oldest son is an avid reader. He always carries a book with him, sometimes two, and prefers reading to watching television or playing video games. He was about twelve or thirteen years old and went to the library weekly, so he could stay stocked on books. The library also offered a summer reading program for kids, complete with weekly activities and presentations.
The library summer reading program often rewarded kids with a free book if they read a certain number of books. Of course, my son qualified for the free book within a few weeks, and we stopped by the library. He picked out a book that sounded interesting to him. A few days later, he came to me and asked if we could go back because he didn’t like the book and wanted to return it.
I read the back cover. It seemed to be a similar genre to what he usually read, and I asked him what he didn’t like about it.
“It has two boys kissing in it,” he said. “I don’t want to read it anymore.”
We went back to the library, and the librarian graciously exchanged the book for another, and my son was happy.
My son did not finish the book because he came across a scene that made him uncomfortable. It didn’t shock him into reading more to find out what happened next, and he didn’t hide it from me. He just stopped reading and asked for a different book.
Monitoring what a kid reads limits them.
Some parents may decide this is a perfect example of why it’s important to monitor what their children read and choose reading material for them. Books are challenged in school and public libraries because parents despise the content and want those books removed from the shelves. I only have one question for those parents: What gives you the right to decide for every child?
If you have not taught your child proper moral values that align with your family, whatever those values may be, then you may have cause to worry about what they’re reading. However, parents should lead by example, and give their children the tools they need to make good choices in all aspects of their lives. If you do that, then you should also be able to trust your child. Trust that they will put down a book that has content they are not ready to explore.
I can already hear the naysayers and arguments now, so let me head you off.
No, we do not monitor what my kids watch. However, we don’t have satellite TV, only streaming services like Netflix and Hulu. Yes, there are some very adult shows available. But my kids will walk out of the room if my husband and I watch something that has mature content. They don’t want to see it. I am not concerned that they are secretly watching explicit material.
Yes, we pay attention — somewhat — to our children’s online presence. It’s lessened over the years, but when they first entered the world of online gaming and had access to things on their own, we had parental controls in place. This was more for blocking predators than it was for blocking content. We would read text/chat messages and randomly search their tablet browser histories. They were required to leave their tablets and phones in the dining room from 9 p.m. until the next morning. Now, at ages fifteen (almost sixteen) and seventeen, my youngest children police themselves.
Because I trust them.
My husband and I worked extremely hard to instill virtuous principles in our children. We taught them from a young age what is right and wrong and how to avoid peer pressure. Our kids may roll their eyes at us, forget to tell us when they get to a friend’s house, and argue with us, but they are also upstanding citizens. They will stand up for what’s right, work hard, and help others.
I feel that monitoring what a kid reads limits them. My oldest son was reading at a high-school level by the time he was in fifth grade. He is now in his last year of college as an engineering student. If I monitored what he read and only allowed him to read books in his recommended age range, I do not think he would have excelled in math and science enough to make it into his desired degree program.
My youngest daughter once purchased a high-school algebra book from a thrift store and perused it during a road trip. She was ten years old. While this isn’t fiction, it is still a book, and I could have told her no. Instead, I paid $1.50, and now she’s at the top of her class for math.
My five-year-old grandson wanted to learn about volcanoes and found a book in the middle-grade section of the library. We checked it out, and I read parts of it to him, but not all of it. He wouldn’t sit still long enough. But he remembers some names of the different formations of volcanoes. Who knows? Maybe he’ll grow up to be a geologist or a volcanologist. Perhaps it’s a phase, and he’ll decide to be a mechanic.
Reading is an exploration of different parts of the universe that we would not have access to otherwise. It allows the imagination to flourish and inspires creativity and learning. If parents refuse to let their children have some leniency with reading, they will stifle their children’s ability to learn.
Let them read.
Featured image by qiangxuer on Pixabay.
Don’t judge a book by its cover, or a person by their appearance.
Anyway, last weekend we had our family reunion in Southern California. It was amazing to see everyone again! The family reunions we have aren’t just about hanging out and getting reacquainted. We have a talent show, an auction, and a sort of memorial service. This time, we also had a color run, tug of war, and got to play on a zip line.
niece. They danced to Lost Boy by Ruth B. Now I can’t hear that song on the radio without thinking of them. I love that because I only see my niece and her family about once a year. I have a memory of them dancing engraved on my heart.
Aléna Orrison, Author & Editor 